by Ann Mitchell | Apr 27, 2017 | Home
The best way to predict the future is to create it. Abraham Lincoln
My 55th year. I’ve thought about this for a while. Well, actually since the 19th, my birthday. I remember when I returned to school to get my Masters in Special Education and my goal then was that I would have my first classroom at 45. I met that goal became a teacher, with my first classroom and it was wonderful. I worked with some amazing children, awesome staff and we had the world on a string…that was where life really got in the way.
Mental health issues have always been a hidden and scary fact in society. In my opinion, people just do not understand how to help someone who struggles with them. They are afraid to ask, they struggle with their own feelings of guilt, maybe? I think that was my biggest struggle was the guilt. You see it was my daughter who struggled with severe mental health issues.
It all began like a whirlwind of everything happening at once. Having four children will do that. My two oldest were trying to figure out life (and continue to do so), while the two youngest (twins) were just finishing up Elementary School. We had one in high school, one in middle school and two in elementary and moving forward after that summer is a blur. Actually, the past 6 years have been a blur. The particulars of the story will need to wait.
Fast forward to 2017.
My oldest graduated high school (5 years ago) and is moving up in a successful career. Our second during all the turmoil of life ended up having our first grandson (now 2, he has brought back the smiles in our family), but she has found a career she enjoys as well. The biggest success is that the twins now 18 yrs old will be graduating high school in a few short weeks, with unbelievable grade point averages. Phew! Did I actually say that? Since I have been home the past few years as the Owner teacher/tutor with Castle Rock Tutoring plus other positions that I have dabbled in over the years just to help contribute to the family.
As I continue to strive to help families with this blog. As I have heard daily tweaks occur on everyone’s blog. The reason I mention this is our Reading Resources Page will be in a continued construction phase until I feel confident just minor tweaks will only be needed. As I move into my 55th year I hope to continue help children here in here in Castle Rock, Colorado and beyond as The Online Reading Expert. There are other things I enjoy doing as well which include working with children in China, a billion dollar Wellness Company and Fairy Houses (soon to be released).
One of my online students was in Yorkshire when I was in London, then she was in London when I was in London, and now I’m in Yorkshire and she’s in Spain. Tutoring still continues despite changing locations for tutor and student. The magic of online tutoring!
Atul Rana, Full time professional online tutor for Maths/Dyscalculia/Science/Engineering
Which brings me to my 55th year.
by Ann Mitchell | Apr 17, 2017 | Home
In some places, the school year is almost over. As a certified Wisdom Coach, I felt this article was appropriate for this time of the year. Families are looking at grades as the kids are wrapping up the school year.
The school is now in session and that means…GRADES!
Whether your kids tend to earn A’s, B’s, C’s, or F’s, kids often define “who they are” based on the grades they receive.
“I’m an A-student”
“I’m not very smart”
“I’m an average student”
Unfortunately, when kids label themselves based on grades, it can have a negative impact on their self-esteem – even for “A-students”. Why?
Because if they bring home an A they feel great about themselves….If they bring home a C they get down on themselves. This creates the yo-yo self-esteem that we’ve talked about in earlier articles.
So how can you talk with your kids about grades so that their self-esteem doesn’t rise and fall based on their grade point average?
The key is to talk about grades as feedback.
Feedback is just a result that occurs based on an action that was taken – it is a measure of how well they learned the material. Grades don’t mean that they are “smart” or “dumb”…”good” or “bad” – it just means they either learned what they needed to know or they didn’t.
When kids learn to interpret grades as feedback and not “who they are”, it enables them to deal with both good grades and bad grades without impacting their self-esteem.
So how might this work?
Say your child brings home an A. Instead of saying something like, “You’re so smart. You’re an ‘A-student’!” You could say, “Wow – you made some great grades. Looks like you really learned the material.”
Do you see how the first comment “labels” the child whereas the second comment is objective feedback on the child’s work?
What if you child brings home a “C”?
This is a great time to say something like, “Doesn’t look like you learned the material that you needed to know for this test. Let’s put together a plan to make sure you learn what you need to know to move forward….Otherwise, you may fall behind and future tests will be even more difficult.”
Do you see how this approach tackles the low grade as a problem to be solved? This enables the child to focus on improving the grade versus feeling bad about himself for making a poor grade.
This approach works great for homework as well.
Decide with your child what grade represents solid knowledge of the material – is it 80%, 85%, 90%, 95%? Once you come to an agreement, let the child know that any paper that receives a grade below the threshold will need to be reworked to ensure that he understands the material well enough to move forward in the class. When you take this approach, redoing the work isn’t punishment; it’s striving for learning and excellence.
The most important takeaway is to work with your kids to see grades as feedback – not as a reflection of who they are or of how smart they are. When kids learn to see grades as feedback of their effort instead of as a “label”, they are able to separate how they feel about themselves (their self-esteem) from the grade.
Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved.
Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.
